Before
2015 began, I have hoped far and low that the coming year would be wonderful,
memorable and would gratify my expectations. It finally dawned on me (recently)
that not all expectations have to come true and that 2015 wasn't the year of
travelling or of living youthfully, it was the year of encountering difficulty
within myself and the year of admitting defeat to ease sincerity.
However,
it was also the year of phenomenal skies, an amazing Fujifilm camera and the
beginning of my aspiring hobby in creating visuals through videos and writing.
Not to mention the incredible stress over school, faith and the absence of
company. And these things have taught me more than what I could have asked for.
Yes, I may not have handled it very well but I've been through the fire and
what fire does not destroy, it hardens.
Besides, everything takes time and time will only help me grow into someone who I long to be. And no one can take
that away from me, they don't have the right and they never will.
Because in 2015, I understood that
- not everybody
has the ability to understand sadness and that a lot of people pretend to
be with you because they needed something from you, not because they
wanted to be a part of your life.
- at times, you just have to cut ties with the people you thought were meant to stay, because Allah wanted them in your life merely for a lesson; they were meant to bend you, not to mend you.
In 2015, I was aware that
- sometimes,
everything won't be alright. There are things that will be fine, but some
will only continue breaking your heart. And that's just part of what it's
like to be alive, but you don't have to be so stressed about it because at
some point, everything will be alright.
- you just have to
be patient and accepting
In 2015, I learned that
- being grateful for the things that you are mostly unaware of is important. You may be sad that you've failed your test or had your heart broken by some idiot, but please don't forget to remember that you still have your family and a house that keeps you safe. That you're still healthy and alive and still has a chance to better the world.
- Allah has better
plans. So put your
trust in Him.
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| "Like the moon, you only see parts of me, never the full thing." -lovelysuggestion (tumblr) |
And for
2016, I hope to begin conquering my dreams and resolutions (such as getting
accepted and perhaps a scholarship to one of my targeted universities). They mostly include taking better care of myself
and living in new places, as well as meeting more incredible human beings that
will lessen the pain of inexperience and loneliness.
I pray
that I will draw myself closer to God and to heal what’s wounded.
And to
finish, I wish you all a remarkable and heart-warming year ahead where there
are moments where everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt. Hopefully in the coming year, we would all stop ruining ourselves (and others) for what
doesn’t matter and start fixing each other entirely for the better.
Love
always, Zee.
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| "Life is most beautiful when visuals are like film stills." -z.t. |
. . . . .
"I hope that in 2016, you find what you’re looking for. I hope you find true love, a new friend, the perfect house, the best sunsets, more time, the beauty in everything, and the right path. I hope you find a chance to start over, but most of all, I hope you find yourself." -c.a.m.
