keepsake blog

Tragic. I know.

Fast forward to 2016, eighth of February, nine of us were miraculously met in a reunion. We *ate, became bored, got into traffic on our way to watching a horror movie, watched the horror movie, parted, and are now back in our homes (I think).

Bagas was bald. That was his reason for the cap.

It took me about half an hour into the horror movie to realize just how much I missed these people. When I constantly made terrible jokes to Bagas, Huzi and Tsam (for they were the only ones reachable in the theater), when Putri "secretly" poked my head a couple of times to "scare" me, when Pristina and Kyla were cuddling because they were shit-terrified, when Ariq was asleep because he watched the movie before, and when Dika acted funnily whilst watching... It only sank to my mind how long it's been since we were ever together and that when we are together after two years, things never really change. Sure, some of them may have changed physically and mentally, but that does not mean it detains them from being who they originally were when we were still in class together.

Ariq was a bit desperate to be in the picture with Putri and Pristina. So I let him in.

My baby fujifilm X30 has been a little off lately, Tsamara was a model for trial

Because you can never get a good picture of me.

Here's a picture of Dika enjoying his arrival and Huzi's majestic hoodie (IT HAS EARPHONES IN THE HOODIE STRINGS!)

And that made me really happy. I felt less-terrible upon this crumbling world. It was a remarkable experience among the empty gray of school days as a remaining Al-Taqwa survivor, I hope we meet again very soon, kinda still miss you all -words of the late one.

Love always, Zee.

Talking about the beautiful replica of burning stars in the count of seconds, I miss the sensation of being able to see the fireworks with you, in the Arabian Peninsula, at night, with the wind in my hair and the sticky soda cans next to our feet, your eyes to the sky and mine to you; to the awed people; to the darkness under the confetti sky, and to myself.

When a certain person "leaves" you, you receive a scar on the inside of your chest, a strong and noticeable line that demands to be felt. Eventually time would heal the wound. But then looking at the sky reminds you of them, and a memory kicks it, and you bleed again. That, that is what I feel when I remember you, sometimes. Disgusting, I know.

It's been a few weeks that this early limerence had begun and though I stopped thinking about you a lot, there are times when I view images of you in my head.

Somewhere in April, I said to myself that I wanted to be brave and feel vivid feelings upon someone and to constantly be thoughtful for them without wanting something in return. By the middle of May, I realized that I now am. And although the feeling is like seeing the sun for the first time, it's not enitrely pleasant.

I never thought talking was a difficult matter even if most people ignore me in the end. At least that's what I thought, but then eventually I realized I had to stop thinking that way because there are complex people like you who either takes the conversation or not at all. And balancing that interest, or keeping track of the maze had never been easy to me after fathoming that some people are just difficult. But the drive of knowing people like you was something I've never imagined and I guess it's wonderful even in the tiniest bit. I cannot say it's a nice thing but it does have goodness within the unpleasant feeling.

Photo by Zoe Suen. Fukuoka, Japan 06.2015

Hello there, it's been a week since I turned 16 years old now. Not that it matters though.

I'm here to post a prologue of my new story (that I will finish hopefully). The story will be called For You.