I know it's been a lot of while since I last touch base this blog I claim to be my platform of where I try to be unconditionally myself. But even so, I believe it's been a successful way of portraying my inner self -a procrastinator, and a juggler who doesn't juggle her responsibilities in correct order.
So, I've been sick for more than a week by now. Undoubtedly much more comfortable with how life is treating me, be it worse or better, I have no idea, and am somehow very content with that. I'm still lonely and have a lot of things to do, but I believe that's been taken care of by my ignorant chunk of personality.
To make my leaving for the lot of while fair, I'll try and make a coordinated writing of the highlights of the previous months.
The ending of February for me, was a takeaway trip to Lombok with my family. In which I refused to do in the first place, and deliberately changed my mind as soon as I stepped out of the plane -ended up the most awed person from experiencing it. The newborn flesh of the sea was something I haven't seen in quiet awhile, nor was the distance from the negativity of life. I was merely concussed of how great it felt to be away to someplace else and I'm glad this trip's happened.
Here's a few of my favorite life stills:
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| The girl staring outside the window, and the anxious man trying to fall asleep. |
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| Was away from responsibilities for awhile. It was very nice. |
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| The beach reminded me of Oman, now I miss it even more. |
Also, my team and I were able to win second place in the debate competition that was held there! Presumably defeated by a group of novice under the motion "THW allow asylum seekers to work". Which was fine, I suppose, because I figured it out before it was announced. Anxiety is better prepared than not huh?
Here is a life still of us:
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| "When you're told to hold their trophy and pretend everything's okay" |
It didn't rain on my birthday, but the sky was a haze and some of the stars appeared after sundown. There were a couple of people who kept company of me through words as I waited outside, letting time seep into the walls of my skin. And in between, multiples of moments from when I was much younger and much happier than now managed to appear, in a very unsettling and simultaneous way. Which brought me to thinking whether or not I've been able to grow up to whom my little self has desired her to be.
Seventeen may not be the age of maturity, or of anything I've wanted for a long long time, but I am very certain that it is the age of progress. Progress in becoming better, progress in experiencing better things, progress in being closer to Him. And I hope that's what counts most.
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| Officially nine years apart from this picture of my little self looking as if preparing for a ballet dance/swimming class. |
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| Achieved my long lost hobby! |
A few days ago, my school joined another debate competition, specifically one that was held in Global Islamic School. To say the least, I didn't quiet enjoy it because I was pretty sick and I was rather tired of the whole routine. However, I seem to be very overwhelmed from achieving tenth in best speakers list, despite the fact that I got even sicker by the end of the competition. Moreover, the competitors were kinda unsettling too, there were little socializing and more competing which I didn't look forward to much... Oh, and we also met the now-not-so-novice debaters from last time. Which unluckily, we didn't get to debate with.
"Maybe next time."
-So, there you have it. Chunks of what happened in the past few months. And, not a surprise it took me two whole hours to finish this post. Well, hope it was worth it. Goodbye, and goodnight from me. Or should I say good morning?
Love always, Zee.
