Before 2015 began, I have hoped far and low that the coming year would be wonderful, memorable and would gratify my expectations. It finally dawned on me (recently) that not all expectations have to come true and that 2015 wasn't the year of travelling or of living youthfully, it was the year of encountering difficulty within myself and the year of admitting defeat...
Yesterday before 6 AM, I headed to my room and grabbed my Fujifilm X30, a good looking mirrorless point-and-shoot camera I bought this summer that was lying on the floor with dust decorations in between the buttons and screen. I was on my way to an excursion to Chevron, an American multinational company that has one of its production industry in Mountain Salak,...
When you're sixteen and about to turn seventeen, there are months where you begin to understand the weight of the world. There are months where you begin to comprehend that literally nobody is the same; that there are some very dramatic and some very ignorant. That most times, you'll spend empty minutes of your tiring afternoon cringing about allowing the wrong people clung...
Now that I've caught up (kinda) with the extra studying and stress since I'm re-taking my IGCSE's, I guess it's only fair to sit down for a couple of minutes and type in something to feed my online diary. Turns out getting my shit together is tougher than I expected it to be. Too much class-tests going on, too much projects that has...
Talking about the beautiful replica of burning stars in the count of seconds, I miss the sensation of being able to see the fireworks with you, in the Arabian Peninsula, at night, with the wind in my hair and the sticky soda cans next to our feet, your eyes to the sky and mine to you; to the awed people; to the darkness...
((Hello there, how are you doing? If you're not doing so well because you're losing your hope as time distances the possibility, then *smiles at you*, I wrote something for you, I think. This post was just meant to relieve my stress actually, but let it relieve yours too.)) “Pray hard. Pray as if the thing you want is looking straight in the...
For about 10 months ago, me and my classmates interviewed Indonesian strangers about Islam and turned it into a video for a school project. This video -until today, is the most viewed video on my YouTube with a 700 and above (I know it's not much but hey, beginner right?). The feedback from people on this video are mostly: good job! Love it!...
I don't usually write blog posts exposing identities or cliche words. Because I happen to like writing indirectly about someone. I circle mazes in order to find the right words to express my sentiments and my past, and although not a significant amount of people are acknowledged of these things (for I write personally), I do constantly pray for someone to come across...
"How is it that you never noticed?" When a certain person "leaves" you, you receive a scar on the inside of your chest, a strong and noticeable line that demands to be felt. Eventually time would heal the wound. But then looking at the sky reminds you of them, and a memory kicks it, and you bleed again. That, that is what I...
Hello, it's been awhile, I guess, or not. I haven't had the mood to write something online these past few months, just because I don't see a purpose anymore or just because I don't see me having the potential to. Anyways, August is really hurting, there seems to be no sign of happiness lately, I rarely have the energy to do anything now....
It's crazy how time and distance changes everything.How it changed me and the so many other things in life including the people who affected my feelings the most.I know that it's no one's fault that I became so distanced from everyone and cornered by betrayal and forgetfulness, because I know that sooner or later my existence will tire from some people's lists. And...
Hey there, lovely fella who took the time to pass by my oh-so ragged blog. It's the blessed month of Ramadhan and I have things to write here about relying and being with Allah that had always helped me keep holding onto Him. So, I know it's hard for you, the struggles and the confusion that you're going through. But know that Allah...
The first day of Ramadhan, and I am feeling (with Allah's permission) wonderful under all the negative struggles He's given me. "And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me - indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they...
Film-making, what's so interesting about it? I've been a big fan of movies since I was a young idiotic child, and the older I get and with broader knowledge upon the cinematic world, the more I realised that my passion was growing and I had to take care of it regularly. So I began making videos. My first video was in December 2013,...
It's funny sometimes, how other people's luck/fate seem so easy and favourable. While mine is merely struggle. Nothing is easy for me, heck, even I'm not easy for myself. But what can I say? Other people's lives are struggle too, theirs' might even be more terrifying than mine. I should stop being so distressed about how I can never get myself or my...
It's been a few weeks that this early limerence had begun and though I stopped thinking about you a lot, there are times when I view images of you in my head. Somewhere in April, I said to myself that I wanted to be brave and feel vivid feelings upon someone and to constantly be thoughtful for them without wanting something in return....
You are constantly appearing in my thoughts and it bothers me because I know that I can do nothing about it. It’s a nice feeling though, but it isn't a nice feeling to be acknowledged that this is beyond nothing for me because it is utterly vain. Despite the nothingness, I still relish the existence of you even if you had only come for a short...
The stars look different tonight. And I am here. I am here. Those three words contain all that can be said – you begin with those words and you return to them. Here means on this earth, on this continent and no other, in this city and no other, and in this epoch I call mine, this century, this year. I was given no...
Surprise, I was brave and bold enough to visit the Univeristy of Indonesia for its Alsa 19th debate competition they held since this month! Let me explain wholly what had happened: 1. Miss Mus asked if we'd like to join a debate competition, she clarified that everything will be “fine” and that it's all for the fun and experience. 2. We joined, me...
I should have been busy since this April to June because I have IGCSE preparations and a whole load of other studying shit. But I'm not born to be someone busy, so I guess I'll try delaying my work to write something in here. I have a couple of songs I'd like to introduce to you about that I currently adore first, they...
Hello there, it's been a week since I turned 16 years old now. Not that it matters though. I'm here to post a prologue of my new story (that I will finish hopefully). The story will be called For You. Prologue: For You From the January of my sophomore year in college until March, all I could think of was escaping, to disappear...
Since we (Sammy, Tsamara and me) thought that doing a term break project where we shared happiness through flowers and quotes were something that had ought to be done, we decided to do it and shot it on film for proof that yes we have done this term break task. However, you may notice that I am not (mostly) shown in the process...
Hello, it's 4 days away to me turning 16, so I thought it'd be nice to write something whilst still being fifteen years old. Recently, I've been sick thinking of my unresolved future; the univerisities I would be applying to and the carrier I would be spending my years onto. But it is more frequent of me thinking of what studies I should...
“The people that means most to me are the ones who make great impacts on my feelings.I've lived through horrors, devils' doings, heartaches, and humans, so try to understand that I'm not exaggerating. I don't care about a lot of things, I am unconscious towards people's thoughts, but if you ever decided to enter my life, please, fucking understand that I have had severe...
This is it. No one ruins my March for me. Hello there, my name is Zee and I have been waiting for my new video to upload for 72 hours now. I actually had it going until 75% but then I had to restart the whole upload because safari broke down... Today is my friend's 16th birthday, and speaking about birthdays, I have...
I am physically fine but mentally shattered. Knowing that today is the 14th of February, I decided to confess something I believe everyone perfectly know already. However, I wanted to make a poetic writing upon it, let's see if I succeed. Long ago when I was younger and a lot more naive, my heart never hesitates into falling for someone. My heart was...
Hello, how are you doing? I'm having a flight to my cousin's hometown soon to attend her wedding, and trauma of flights hadn't escaped me yet, so to calm me down I'll write to you my favourite hadith. p.s. Please pray for me a safe flight; to there and back here. “If you ask, then ask of Allah, and if you seek help,...
Hello Zahra, how are things? You can call me Keeto, but maybe that's not my real name, but that doesn't matter, I'm mostly writing to save someone's life i.e. you. You're 15 with thoughts brighter than the all the Northern Skies, eyes deeper than the Indian oceans, and even if you are bleeding mentally now or your acceptance is leaking from every inch...
It is 2015. Meaning; a year with more pleasing experience, the year I'm most probably moving away from ATC, the year with no depression, the year I am growing up, a year where I won't be lazy Inshallah, the year where I will make more (and I mean more) friends, the year where I will finally meet you you you and you, a year...
